A hermit’s guide to coping in isolation

I cannot believe how much the world has changed since my last blog.

The UK is now in its third week of staying indoors. I feel like I’ve been training for this my whole life.

I have a condition called femoral retroversion. It’s caused significant damage to my hips and knees and I’ve had 5 joint operations thus far.

I’m no stranger to this hermit lifestyle - it’s been my new normal for a while now.

I’d already forgotten what it’s like to casually decide to go out for dinner, walk round the shops or go to the cinema. My condition has taken that freedom away from me, but it has given me a different perspective, forcing me to be grateful for the things I can still do.

For those not used to isolation, I imagine they’re climbing the walls with boredom now.

To begin with, you’ll want to sleep more and become a swamp monster - that’s normal. Then there’ll come a point when it’s more damaging to your mental health and self esteem than anything else.

I’ve written blogs in the past that refer to long periods of isolation from others, the slow detachment from friends, work colleagues and even family, yet those reading at the time may have had a flippant opinion, “oh I’d love to rest and to sit, watch TV all day, lucky you”.

It’s not as fun as it sounds for a long extended period of time, is it? It can be mentally challenging and often draining, unless you challenge yourself.

But side effects of isolation might include dark or negative thoughts, irritability, increased stress, lack of sleep or even depression, so it’s important to try make changes now.

The first time I was thrown into this strange period of seclusion, I think I cried everyday. Yes I was tired due to the operation itself and the pain I was feeling, but the longer it went on the harder it got.

I became so withdrawn from the world, I felt like the new girl when I finally returned to work. I typically had around 3-4 months off each time, with my only connection to the outside world being hospital appointments.

By my third operation I knew what to expect. I dubbed it the ‘operation blues’. No one tells you it’s coming or even that it’s quite common, but it’s the loneliest feeling to be cutoff from the world, to suddenly have to adapt to this new normal.

I won’t drivel on about the additional pain, sleepless nights and prescription withdrawal I endure, only the ‘lucky ones’ are subjected to those marvellous add-ons.

However, I will try to give some helpful advice, tips on how to ‘survive’ and cope when the cabin fever and hysteria begin to set in.

If you picture your life in a prison cell, clothed in an orange jumpsuit and chatting to ‘Piper’, it’s time to step away from Netflix, trust me.

Being stuck indoors when you want to be, is OK, but being caged, like one of Joe Exotic’s tigers, can be challenging if you don’t try to make a plan each day.

I’m of course using the word ‘plan’ loosely.

Do with the following what you will:

1. Set a song you like as your alarm tone and change it on a weekly basis. Set your alarm at an early time, but let’s keep things realistic. You’re not going to get up at 6am when you’ve no place to be, and quite frankly your ‘to do’ list could fit on a Post-It, so let’s not peak too soon.

2. Have a shower or a bath, or even a ‘cat-wash’. Refresh yourself at the very least, then put on clean clothes (OK, pyjamas!). They don’t need to be ironed, unless you’re really bored.

3. Before you switch on the TV and have breakfast to the sweet undertones of Piers Morgan (laughter), make yourself a list of things you want to achieve that day. Create a new blog, learn some new routines for Tik-Tok, cooking something new or just read some chapters of a new book, yes, a book. You’ve no idea how invaluable they’ll be right now at giving you that escapism you need, and I’m actually a non-reader, generally.

4. Spread out that list (not literally), and slot in some casual procrastination in between. The time that seems to get sucked into a vortex, online reading, the rabbit hole, whatever strange time zone you want to call it. Normally I’d say avoid social media, but that’s your friend right now and sometimes your only means of contact with the outside world.

5. There is no substitute for fresh air, whatever the weather. Stand in the garden with a cuppa and look up at the sky. This one sounds ridiculously lame but I promise it’s one of the best. Take some deep breaths. If the sun’s out, let the light hit your face, and if it’s raining, you really should have brought an umbrella out.

6. Online shopping! Even if you don’t even buy anything and shove everything to your ‘wish list’, I love to buy at least one thing a month......ok, ok, week! For the dogs, I promise. They need that new jumper!

7. Move around the house throughout the day. Each of your jobs/tasks can be in different parts of the house/flat. Whatever you do, don’t spend all day and night in the same spot, it will drain your soul!!

8. Grab a pen & paper, absolutely no tech for this one please; write down five things you love and are grateful for. Even silly things like coffee, blankets or your favourite mug.

9. Connect with the outside world. I use Facebook support groups, as I struggle to talk to anyone else about my condition. I need someone that knows how I’m feeling. I’ve built so many great friendships that way. At times they are my lifeline. And yes, sometimes misery does love company, apparently.

10. Finally, connect with your close friends and family. They can be in the same household or even via FaceTime, House Party or Zoom, whatever you’re using, reach out! Use this time wisely. Avoid certain topics.

I hope they’ve been helpful.

Due to the recent pandemic, I am currently working from home. The week before our ‘lockdown’ was ordered, I was actually due to start back in the office full time, so it’s been odd to be back in my old routine again.

If you’re also working from home at the moment, surround yourself with comforting things, trinkets or pictures. It’ll make daydreaming much more appealing on the eyes.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s not exactly tough, it’s just about finding a new routine that works for you.

Stay home, make sure you connect to others, especially anyone vulnerable, and stay safe.