The physical and mental strain, post op.

It's been 18 days and 2 hours since I made my way down to theatre, for the next instalment of 'operation fix Hannah', chapter 8,594 - the left hip arthroscopy.

I was initially given 4th October as my operation date, but then they broke my heart by moving it to the 8th November (I'm aware that sounds ridiculously dramatic), but on the morning of 10th October, I received another call, this time offering me a cancellation for 14th October.

My heart was racing! I had three days, THREE!

What proceeded, were two stressful hours of phone calls to my husband, Mother and discussions with work, and maybe a bit (ok, a lot) of flapping by myself. Thankfully, I was able to accept the date.

Luckily I had already batch cooked to within an inch of my life, but I still had a lot more organising to do, aka; briefing the husband of his chores.

For some unknown reason, I decided at about 5pm the night before, to make pumpkin pie and 8 really shit mince pies - no really, they were! It was actually the first time I’d made them too, I think I’d actually lost my senses by that point, but I digress.

I just wanted to do all the things I'd planned to do over the coming weeks, because I knew I'd be off my feet, I'd been down this path so many times before.

For those that are unaware, I have femoral retroversion. It means the head of the thigh bones are at the wrong angle. Unfortunately over the years, my body has then created extra bone on the head of the femur, which in turn required surgery to shave and shape the bone, and repair the damage it had done to inside the joint.

My right hip operation was 8 months ago, and I thought I knew what to expect. Wrong!

Happily, this time there wasn't any arthritic damage to this hip, but my labrum (tissue in front of the cartilage) was sadly beyond repair.

When they showed me the photos, it resembled a jellyfish, and I'm assuming that's not what they were hoping for. I am unsure what this means for my hip long term, but it wouldn’t have won any attractive hip awards, that’s for sure.

They did their best to trim, file and repair my hip, and off I went to the recovery room.

This might sound like a strange sentence, but I find the recovery room to actually be quite entertaining.

It's full of the hustle and bustle of daily life, colleagues that work together all the time, and it resembles the same chit chat, you'd find at your local hairdressers.

When you're waking up a little dazed and confused, it's nice to see the smiles, to hear laughter. Many would expect a sterile, frightening experience, but it's anything but.

The nurse that was looking after me, was almost mid-prank when I woke up. A harmless game of ‘I have just put a sticker on your back....or have I?’. It really made me smile, and then she was filling me in on the rules.

It may have sounded childish, however I could see they needed this to keep their sanity through the long shifts and undervalued work.

Anyway, shuffling along....

Following an evening of the standard zero hospital sleep, I was finally discharged the following morning. I couldn't wait to break free, but I couldn’t exactly run out of there, so I settled for the wheelchair.

The next stop was the departure lounge, or as the hospital would refer to it as, the discharge lounge. Although the baggage claim isn’t as exciting, you’re allowed a lot more drugs.

I just couldn’t wait to get home.

Everything was going well until I felt this unbelievavble sharp and heat like pain to the outer aspect, just above my left knee, I'd never felt anything like it. I called the ward and they assured me it was normal 'post op pain', and to ice and elevate it. But I hadn't had my knee operated on?!

This pain continued in spasm for about 24 hrs. I've since been left with numbness and a tingling sensation. When I move about it hurts and my whole thigh feels tight.

When I walk with crutches, my husband has noticed I’m not quite bending it properly, like some sort of zombie, which is quite apt, as I seem to be morphing into one at the moment.

I've tried a variety of medication, but since been told it's a nerve related injury, possibly caused by being on the traction table (I beg you not to Google Image that one. I know you will!)

Traction in this case, is a mild dislocation of the hip socket, and is necessary during a hip arthroscopy in order to separate the femoral head from the acetabulum (socket), thereby providing space for the tools and instruments.

Unfortunately traction also comes with its own set of risks, including neural issues, post op.

As I've well documented in my previous blogs, I have now entered the emotional stage of recovery.

I feel down, tired, fairly angry and like I just want to sleep a lot, to ignore the world. These ARE common side effects of this operation, and although I've passed through this stage five times in the last 7 years, it never gets any easier. I can’t offer any words of wisdom there I’m afraid.

Recently I've been reaching out to others, trying to create awareness with the help of my local hospital and mental health charities. I don't feel like there is enough (if any), mental health support when it comes to orthopaedic operations, like the ones I've had.

It is mentally draining, and the longer it goes on, the harder this journey gets! So who do you talk to?

The medical staff surely have enough on their hands, they're trying to make us better, physically, but is a quick "how are you doing, are you ok?" really enough?

This nerve issue certainly isn't helping my emotional state at the moment, and I've drunk so much tea now, I think I might actually drown soon, but I know I've a way to go, before I'm through the other side.

I had better strap myself in, for the rest of this shitshow!