Me, myself & the NHS

When I looked up the phrase 'flare-ups' the description was defined as 'a sudden outburst of something, especially violence or hostility' and I thought, I'll say! To me it means, coping with pain when it's at its worst. I've accepted that flare-ups are part and parcel of persistent pain now, but it's still one of the hardest aspects of living with chronic pain. Even when you think that you have begun to manage your pain with different techniques, medication or for me, the avoidance of chairs, the next flare-up is just around the corner waiting to ruin your life. Generally when you see a chronic pain warrior smiling, it's not because we're not in pain, it's because we're happy we're not experiencing a flare-up in that split second, and to us we feel what I'd describe as 'normality'. Flare-ups refer to periods of intense pain which are felt more severely to the normal day-to-day chronic pain, and the worst part is,...

At 24 years old I was running about 20 miles a week and looking forward to a Saturday night out with friends. For me the weekend was always about dancing and drinking too much, then swearing I'm never drinking again the very next day. Sadly I never learnt. Every year my friends and I would book a 'girly holiday' and it was always so much fun and worth the wait. I think we all look forward to time off work, whether that be rest days in a shift pattern or just the weekend after "working 9 to 5", as old Dolly would sing. I never imagined 10 years later I'd be exhausted from putting the washing away, and then spending my Saturday night in with ice packs on writing a blog about chronic pain. I think I've spent most of my working life counting down to time off, it's why we play the lottery right? That's not to say I don't enjoy my job, on the contrary but who doesn't love having time to go and have fun. If only that was the reaso...

Where's The Exit? When I first started suffering from chronic pain, I'm sure I cried most days. I couldn't cope with the mental strain that came with constant pain. Nowadays it's once a week, and generally followed almost instantly by normality, a calm. It's almost surreal. I used to love rollercoasters when I was younger, but this one isn't one many people would pay to get on, and many sufferers are constantly asking, where's the damn exit? The constant ups and downs of living with constant pain is exhausting, mentally as well as physically. Everyday small annoyances become great big mountains that we will completely overreact to, (I hope that's not just me by the way). Most people have ups and downs during the week, but I have ups and downs during each day. There's no point in asking me how I am anymore, because that really depends on if it's 10:00 am, or 10:05 am when you ask. I used to run and go the gym a lot before my body began ...